After an evening, a guy brings his girlfriend to her parents in a very upscale neighborhood.
They kiss at length when the guy starts to feel excited.
With a confident air, he leans towards her, smiling, one hand on the abutting wall, and said:
- Honey, I'd do you a blowjob?
Horrified, she replies:
- Are you sick? My parents could see us!
- Alleeez Oh! Who will we see at this hour? asked in a voice already panting.
- No, please. Can you imagine if you get caught? The daughter of the judge must be yours!
- Alleeez Oooh! There is nobody around, they're all asleep.
- No way. It's too risky! ...
- Oooh please! If you plaiiiiit, I love you so much? ! ?
- No, no and no. I love you too, but I can not!
- I'll suppliiiiiiiiie ...
- Give me one good reason, "she said.
The young man then launched into an impassioned argument for a good ten minutes on the needs and drives male, his voice growing hoarse.
Suddenly, the light will light up the stairs, and the elder sister of the girl appears in pajamas, hair disheveled, eyes puffy, and their announcement of a sleepy voice:
- Dad told me to tell you he is doing his pipe, or you go. But for pity's sake, tell him to remove his hand from the intercom ...
တစ္ခါကေပါ့...နယ္ျမိဳ ့တစ္ျမိဳ ့မွာ အဂၤလိပ္စကားျပန္တစ္ေယာက္ရွိတယ္..နာမည္ကေတာ့ ကုိထူးတဲ့.. သူက အဂၤလိပ္စကားကို မေတာက္တစ္ေခါက္ေလာက္ေတာ့တက္ပါတယ္...တစ္ေန ့က်ေတာ့ သူတို ့ျမိဳ ့ကို ႏုိင္ငံျခားသား အဖြဲ ့တစ္ဖြဲ ့ေရာက္လာတယ္....အဲဒီအခါက်ေတာ့ အဲဒီလူကသူ ့ဂြင္ပဲဆုိေတာ့ စကားျပန္လုပ္ေပးရွာတယ္... အဲဒါနဲ ့ႏုိင္ငံျခားသားေတြကုိ တစ္ျမိဳ ့လုံးလိုက္ျပေပးတယ္ေပ့ါ.....ညေနေစာင္းေတာ့ ႏုိင္ငံျခားသားေတြတည္းမယ့္ Hotel ကုိျပန္လုိက္ပို ့တယ္...ကိုထူးက လည္း သူ ့အလုပ္ျပီးခါနီးဆုိေတာ့ ကြမ္းေတာင္ဝယ္စားလုိက္ေသးတယ္...အဲဒီလုိနဲ ့ Hotel နားမေရာက္ခင္ သစ္ပင္တစ္ပင္
ထိပ္ဖ်ားေပၚမွာ နားေနတဲ့ ပံ်လႊားငွက္ တစ္ေကာင္ကုိသြားေတြ ့တယ္...ညေနေစာင္းဆုိေတာ့ ျမင္ကြင္းေလးက ရုိးရွင္းျပီး အရမ္းလွတာေပါ့...အဲဒီမွာ ကုိထူးက အဲဒီျမင္ကြင္းကုိ ျပခ်င္တာနဲ ့ႏုိင္ငံျခားသားေတြကုိ လွမ္းေျပာလုိက္တယ္...ဒါေပမယ့္ ကြမ္းစားထားေတာ့ အသံထြက္က "See the swallow" လုိ ့ပီပီသသ မေျပာႏုိင္ဘဲနဲ ့.."Se de swallow"(ျမန္မာလုိ ဖတ္ရင္ေတာ့ ေရွ့ကႏွစ္လုံးက "စီသယ္" လုိ့ျဖစ္သြားေရာ).....အဲဒီအခ်ိန္မွာပဲ သစ္ပင္ေအာက္မွာဆီေရာင္းေနတဲ့ ဆီသည္အေဒၚျကီးတစ္ေယာက္က သူ ့ဆီပုံးေတြေရာ အကုန္လုံးကုိ ထားျပီးထြက္ေျပးသြားေရာ....ေဟာဗ်ာ...သူ ့ကုိလည္းဘာမွ မေျပာဘဲနဲ ့.....ျကည့္ရတာ ဗိုက္နာလို့ထင္ပါရဲ ့ဗ်ာ...
who is your father's son but not your brother?
I bet u cant stop laughing
A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards.
The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.
The man, who was a priest, said, 'I am a Father.'
The little boy replied, 'My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that.'
The priest looked up from his book and answered, ''I am the Father of many.'
The boy said, ''My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way!'
The priest, getting impatient, said. 'I am the Father of hundreds', and went back to reading his book.
The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said, "Maybe you should wear a condom, and put your pants on backwards instead of your collar."
Class is hard, it's a pain you know.
When i get bored, you're all i think about.
I see your face, and then your smile.
But, you don't know what it's like.
To be me, to be in denial.
So you're still laughing and
hanging with friends. While
i'm stuck in my room, crying
to no end. Just let me out,
let me out of your life.
So i can find someone who
Doesn't put me through strife.
It's hard right now.
Harder than you know.
So let me go, cause i don't
want my tears to show.
Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants..
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did in 2009 ..
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours..
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.
Personality:
11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more..
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree....
Society:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others..
27. Forgive everyone for everything..
28. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
Life:
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change...
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come...
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.
40. Dont forget ur FRIENDS.
NEVER SAY GOOD BYE
Remember me and Recall my words,
when you can't hear my voice,
You understand my love,
I never had a choice,
You remember my touch,
and close your eyes,
Your hearts can never say goodbye...
I "'ll be there,
Lingering forever,
You don't despair me
In spirit we're always together,
We will mingle once again,
Just try to hold on
Until then...
With every dropp of life,
I bled for you,
I can't excuse what
I've put you through,
But don't lose faith,
I gave you a way,
I released you...
I know I hurt you,
And you don't understand,
But in my presence
You were suffering,
I had to take a stand,
And time took what I was offering...
You deserve to enjoy life,
And to do that you can't be on my side,
But remember all I did was an act of love,
And I'll be smiling on you
From up above,
So darling when you think of me
Please don't cry,
Hearts may cease to beat,
but love never says goodbye...
I'll never say goodbye...
A man was walking down a deserted Mexican beach at sunset.
As he walked along he began to see another man in the distance.
As he grew nearer, he noticed that the local native kept leaning down, picking something up, and throwing it out into the water.
Time and again he kept hurling things out into the ocean.
As our friend approached even closer he noticed that the man was picking up starfish that had washed up onto the beach, and one at a time, he was throwing them back into the ocean.
The first man was puzzled.
He approached the man and said, "Good Evening Friend, I was wondering what are you doing?"
And he replied, "I'm throwing these starfish back into the ocean.
You see, it's low tide right now and all these starfish have been washed up onto the shore.
If I don't throw them back into the sea, they will die from the lack of oxygen."
"I understand," my friend replied "but there must be thousands of starfish on this beach and you couldn't possibly get to all of them.
There are simply too many and don't you realize that this is happening on hundreds of beaches up and down this coast ... can't you see that you can't possibly make a difference?
The local native smiled, bent down, picked up yet another starfish ... and as he threw it back out into the sea, he replied,**** * "It made a difference to that one!"
You may feel like you cannot make a difference in the world today, but you *****CAN make a difference in one life at a time.
Bottomline:-
a)..Never underestimate your own efforts. You too could make a difference.
b)..Don't ask what the world could do for you, seek what you could do to the world.
I WANTS KEEP CLOSER TO YOU FOREVER
Close to you I want to be
Yes, for all eternity...
Wrapped forever in your arms,
Lost completely to your charms.
Here I find such warmth and love,
and it takes me high above...
To a place I want to be,
where you and I share ecstasy
Yes I love you, yea and more,
you have opened my hearts door.
Made a flame burn inside me,
close to you I want to be...
In a world of expectations,
where dreams don't come true.
An unexpected rainbow,
Is what I found in you.
Skies of gray like dirty glass,
Burst into confetti tears.
Colors cleanse, wash away,
Drab and lonely years.
A chiffon sun hugs a raspberry sky,
Abiding sails the blue of my eyes.
Fireflies sparkle, dance in my hair,
draped in promises that we now share.
You paralyze me beautifully
with your idyllic embrace and kiss.
tracing your love upon lips
of ruby passion.,a taste of.forever.
You paralyze me beautifully
with your idyllic embrace and kiss.
tracing your love upon lips of ruby passion.
a taste of...forever and forever............
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
What is the diameter of a square?
What is the speed of dark?
When day breaks who fixes it?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
A stitch in time saves nine what?
What do batteries run on?
What do you call a bedroom with no bed in it?
Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
Why do they give you a DVD with a DVD Player to tell you how to use it?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why do tourists go to the top of tall buildings and then put money in telescopes so they can see things on the ground in close-up?
Why do we call something sent by car a shipment and something sent by ship a cargo?
Why do we call them restrooms when no one goes there to rest?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why do we have hot water heaters when hot water doesn't need to be heated?
Why do flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
What do you call a male ladybug?
What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?
Where does the fire go when the fire goes out?
Where does the white go when the snow melts?
What happens if you get scared half to death, ...twice?
When something fades in the sunlight, where did the colors go?
When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it to?
When we say our mind wanders - where does it
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty is an egg?
Where is Old Zealand?
What happens if you go on a survival course - and you don't pass?
: GREATEST DAILY THERAPY
In a world where theres so much woe
And worry rules the day
You think a lot more by far and score
Would rather be happy come what may
A soul can be a real good soul
But it really does not hurt
To laugh and joke and pay compliment
And ever sometimes flirt
From morning right through till night
We dont have to ask for stress
And a little naughtyness take that away
At times most really would confess
Its so worth while to cause a smile
Though sincere one might not be
But to rid the mess of daily stress
Nothing beats a little harmless glee
It gives one a little momentary space
From the stressful ways of life
With a little decorum too thrown in
And rid the day of all its natural strife
A sense of humor is the greatest thing
And a little imagination helps as well
To have a joke and even maybe flirt
Wont exactly send us all to hell
Terrence Michael Sutton
copyright 2010
ADULT
Monkeys & Girls both R same …….
They always fight only 4 bananas.
Whereas…..Boys & rats both R same ……
They always searching 4 new holes.
Better than universe is our INDIA
Better than this word is our INDIA
Best among countries is our INDIA
Father and mother is our INDIA
Andhra, Arunanchal, Assam,Bihar
Good day , Hello. How you are?
Chattisgarh, Goa,Gujrat, Haryana
All salute you from Ghana to Montana
Himachal, jammu Kashmir, Jharkhand, Karnataka
You glory spread from Osaka to Nebraska
Kerala, Madhya, Maharashtra, Manipur
You are the essencs,you are the core
Meghalaya, Mizoram,
Cute Mala, Mubina , Manpreet, Melissa
Panjab, Rajasthan, Sikkim,Tamilnadu
Hindu, Muslims, Sikh,Christains so true
Tripura, Uttar, Uttarakhand,West Bangal
Diwali, Eid,Guruparb,Christmas et al
Andman Nicobar, Chandigarh, Dadra Nagar
Hindi,Urdu,,Panjabi,English sweet as suger
Daman Diu, Lakshadweep, Delhi, Puduchery
Seasons-autumn, winter,spring,summer,rainy
We are united in our diversity
We are known for our humility
Indians have reached infinity
A nation known for its purity
: WELL ..... I LOVED HER APPLE PIES LOL
Grandma Was'nt Silly
When I was just a boy
I never let a chance go by~
As I knew how grandma could cook
And could she make an apple pie~
She made them realy big did she
And then sat them on the window sill~
As to have them cool down some
And I then was no dill~
Grandma's beautiful apple pies
She would bake them in wood stove~
I could smell them a ways away
So one day down to her window how I strove~
She had the biggest one sitting there
To cool upon that sill~
As I got closer The better it smelt
And I could not wait untill~
I sat under that kitchen window
Must have been for quite awhile~
And it kept on smelling better
From my face I could not wipe that smile~
I tried to be so good back then
But sometimes it was so hard~
I was sitting there all alone
No body outside in the yard~
So I simply had to sample it
Tried hard not to have it fall~
I only wanted just a bit
I did not want to eat it all~
But after I had one big bit
I tasted one bit more~
And then I imagined what she would do
To me if she came out that door~
So in it I placed a crow feather
So they would get the blame not me~
Never thought she'd ever know
But grandma was not at all silly~
I sat there for a little while
To make sure all it was O k ~
And then when I thought all was safe
I slowly crawled away~
Almost out of danger now
I thought that sure was a god trick~
Around the bush at house corner
Grandma with big broomstick~
Theres a lesson here Im sure of that
Might be a moral too~
But I never touched her apple pies
Again I'm telling you ~
"And the roar of a donkey you can find it song if you listen very far."
"Fire, water and your mind are useful as long as you know how to control them."
"Many hope, very great disappointment."
"Woman .. just like gold, can never be defeated."
"Even the devil prays to be protected against women"
What am I meant to do
With all these feelings for you
I know you don’t like me in the same way
But I'm sitting here with so much to say
Im slowly dying inside
With all these emotions I hide
It’s a struggle everyday
Watching you walking away
So before you go
I just want to let you know
I'm still in love with you
So can you tell me what to do
An American woman of 40 wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man if he has never been (sexually) with a woman. After several unsuccessful years of searching, she decides to take out a personal ad. She ends up corresponding with a man who has lived his entire life in the Australian Outback. They end up getting married. On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to prepare for the festivities. When she returns to the bedroom, she finds her new husband standing in the middle of the room, naked…and all the furniture from the room piled in one corner. “What happened?” she asks. “I’ve never been with a woman,” he says. “But if it’s anything like screwing a kangaroo, I’m gonna need all the room I can get!”
: Very Sad Story
My mom only had one eye. I hated her... She was such an embarrassment. .
She cooked for students & teachers to support the family.
There was this one day during elementary school where my mom came to
Say hello to me. I was so embarrassed.
How could she do this to me?
I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out.
The next day at school one of my classmates said, "EEEE, your mom only
Has one eye!"
I wanted to bury myself.
I also wanted my mom to just disappear..
I confronted her that day and said, " If you're only gonna make me a
Laughing stock, why don't you just die?"
My mom did not respond....
I didn't even stop to think for a second about what I had said, because
I was full of anger.
I was oblivious to her feelings.
I wanted out of that house, and have nothing to do with her.
So I studied real hard, got a chance to go abroad to study.
Then, I got married.
I bought a house of my own.
I had kids of my own.
I was happy with my life, my kids and the comforts, Then one day, my
Mother came to visit me.
She hadn't seen me in years and she didn't even meet her
Grandchildren.
When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her, and I yelled at
Her for coming over uninvited.
I screamed at her, "How dare you come to my house and scare my
Children!"
GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!"
And to this, my mother quietly answered, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I may have
Gotten the wrong address,"
And she disappeared out of sight..
One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house..
So I lied to my wife that I was going on a business trip.
After the reunion, I went to the old shack just out of curiosity.
My neighbors said that she died.
I did not shed a single tear..
They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to have..
"My dearest son,
I think of you all the time. I'm sorry that I came to your house and
Scared your children.
I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion.
But I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you.
I'm sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were
Growing up.
You see.........when you were very little, you got into an accident, and
Lost your eye.
As a mother, I couldn't stand watching you
Having to grow up with one eye.
So I gave you mine.
I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me, in my
Place, with that eye.
With all my love to you,
A best friend
is always there,
whether you need advice,
or a pep talk,
or even a shoulder to cry on.
A best friend
listens with her heart
and is always honest with you,
even though the truth
may not be
what you want to hear.
A best friend
knows all your secrets,
understands your fears
shares your dreams.
A best friend
never stops believing in you
even if you give up
on yourself.
you are
that kind of friend
to me.
And no matter what happens,
you always will be.
You are my best friend....
my forever friend.
All my hidden tears
All my feelings inside
All my pains that passed by
All i want is die
Broken down each day
None has nothing to say
All my dreams washed away
I hope there will be a way
My unseen artificial smiles
There is no decision behind
Thorny path i walk on
My life has no rewind
Blinded by things i do
Disturbed mind & vexed thoughts
Noone beside to confide
It has been everytime
When I come to you in tears
You would try to bring the moon
To bring me out of that fear
But what you fail to see
My love that reflects in me
Why it did not bring
To give you a little hint
But now again i came crying
And show you i was dying
What makes you steady & still
You turned hard from within
And it has been everytime
That my tears fall only for you
: Five things single women hate to hear
1) What’s Said: “Maybe you’re not trying hard enough.”
What’s Heard: “This can come off sounding like you’re passing judgment on effort,” says Anderson. “It’s better to encourage a single person to explore new relationships to the extent they are comfortable and to extend themselves in ways that feel natural and not forced.”
2) What’s Said: “Wear more makeup.”
What’s Heard: More than implying that the search for Mr. Right is as easy as brushing a spot of color onto the cheeks, this comment offends further by actually attacking a person’s core identity.
“A woman presents herself according to what she defines as meaningful. Whether her style is glamorous belle or au naturelle, every woman should be allowed to be herself. There’s a man out there who is going to be attracted to her style, whatever it is. If she’s presenting herself as anyone other than who she really is, that’s false advertising and that’s going to backfire.”
3) What’s Said: “Get back out there!”
What’s Heard: This can send the signal that the single person is simply not doing enough speed or Internet or blind dating, or worse, that she isn’t living a full enough life.
“Singles are not by definition hiding out in their closets curled up in the fetal position all day,” says Anderson. “Most are likely working, meeting friends out for dinner and events, working out.”
4) What’s Said: “You’re too picky”
What’s Heard: This implies that at some point, a point that the single friend or loved one has reached, she is no longer allowed to be discriminating, says Anderson. “This sends single women the message that their time to be choosy is up, that it’s now time to go out and pick up any chump.”
5) What’s Said: “Tone it down a notch.”
What’s Heard: You ask too many questions. You’re too intimidating. You’re overly opinionated. You’re too consumed with work.
“This is interpreted by single women to mean that they have to dial down their core identity a notch in order to attract potential suitors and make them feel comfortable,” says Anderson.
“Suggesting that a woman reduce the fullness of who she is to lure a mate will lead to an inauthentic connection, and is a recipe for a disastrous relationship or marriage. Because really, how long can any person fake it and maintain a facade?”
EIGHT LIES OF A MOTHER
This story begins when I was a child: I was born poor. Often we hadn’t enough to eat. Whenever we had some food, Mother often gave me her portion of rice. While she was transferring her rice into my bowl, she would say “Eat this rice, son! I’m not hungry.”
This was Mother’s First Lie.
As I grew, Mother gave up her spare time to fish in a river near our house; she hoped that from the fish she caught, she could give me a little bit more nutritious food for my growth. Once she had caught just two fish, she would make fish soup. While I was eating the soup, mother would sit beside me and eat the what was still left on the bone of the fish I had eaten, My heart was touched when I saw it. Once I gave the other fish to her on my chopstick but she immediately refused it and said, “Eat this fish, son! I don’t really like fish.”
This was Mother’s Second Lie.
Then, in order to fund my education, Mother went to a Match Factory to bring home some used matchboxes, which she filled with fresh matchsticks. This helped her get some money to cover our needs. One wintry night I awoke to find Mother filling the matchboxes by candlelight. So I said, “Mother, go to sleep; it’s late: you can continue working tomorrow morning.” Mother smiled and said “Go to sleep, son! I’m not tired.”
This was Mother’s Third Lie.
When I had to sit my Final Examination, Mother accompanied me. After dawn, Mother waited for me for hours in the heat of the sun. When the bell rang, I ran to meet her.. Mother embraced me and poured me a glass of tea that she had prepared in a thermos. The tea was not as strong as my Mother’s love, Seeing Mother covered with perspiration, I at once gave her my glass and asked her to drink too. Mother said “Drink, son! I’m not thirsty!”.
This was Mother’s Fourth Lie.
After Father’s death, Mother had to play the role of a single parent. She held on to her former job; she had to fund our needs alone. Our family’s life was more complicated. We suffered from starvation. Seeing our family’s condition worsening, my kind Uncle who lived near my house came to help us solve our problems big and small. Our other neighbors saw that we were poverty stricken so they often advised my mother to marry again. But Mother refused to remarry saying “I don’t need love.”
This was Mother’s Fifth Lie.
After I had finished my studies and gotten a job, it was time for my old Mother to retire but she carried on going to the market every morning just to sell a few vegetables. I kept sending her money but she was steadfast and even sent the money back to me. She said, “I have enough money.”
That was Mother’s Sixth Lie.
I continued my part-time studies for my Master’s Degree. Funded by the American Corporation for which I worked, I succeeded in my studies. With a big jump in my salary, I decided to bring Mother to enjoy life in America but Mother didn’t want to bother her son; she said to me “I’m not used to high living.”
That was Mother’s Seventh Lie.
In her dotage, Mother was attacked by cancer and had to be hospitalized. Now living far across the ocean, I went home to visit Mother who was bedridden after an operation. Mother tried to smile but I was heartbroken because she was so thin and feeble but Mother said, “Don’t cry, son! I’m not in pain.”
That was Mother’s Eighth Lie.
Telling me this, her eighth lie, she died. YES, MOTHER WAS AN ANGEL! M – O – T – H – E – R
“M“ is for the Million things she gave me,
“O“ means Only that she’s growing old,
“T“ is for the Tears she shed to save me,
“H“ is for her Heart of gold,
“E“ is for her Eyes with love-light shining in them,
“R“ means Right, and right she’ll always be,
Put them all together, they spell “MOTHER” a word that means the world to me.
For those of you who are lucky to be still blessed with your Mom’s presence on Earth, this story is beautiful. For those who aren’t so blessed, this is even more beautiful.
They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!
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Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.
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Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
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Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us keep silence for 2 minutes.
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It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
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There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.
There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it!
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It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
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Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
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Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
6 Truths of life:-
1. you canot touch all you top teeth with your tongue.
2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, will try it.
3. And discover that the first truth is a lie.
4. You are smiling now because you're an idiot.
5. You soon will share this with another idiot.
6. There's stil a stupid smile on your face.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
hahahahahahahahaahah
Relationship is like a garden
It's beautiful when watered
with love,hugs,tears,& cheers
But it dries up if left untouched!
Wife: I hate the beggar who came yesterday!
Husband: Why??
Wife: I gave him food yesterday & today he gifted me a book "How to Cook"!!
An 80 year old man married to a young
And beautiful lady, after their honeymoon
The lady died! You know why?
Because of eating expired hotdog............
A father was teaching his son about the evils of alcohol
He put one worm in a glass of water & another worm in
a glass of alcohol.The worm in the water lived,while the
worm in the alcohol curled up & died;
FATHER:Son,what you have learned from it?
SON: Well Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you
won't get worm in your thummy.....
Doctor, cut off my dog's tail.
Veterinary doctor: Why do u want to do that?
bcoz my mom-in-law is visiting us &
I don't want anything 2 make her think
she's welcomed.
Question- What is the practical definiton of globalization?
Answer- Princess Diana's death.
Question- How come?
Answer- An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend, crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky(check the bottle before you change the spelling), followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Jpanese motorcycle,treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines.
This is sent to you by a pakistani using Bill Gate's technology and you are reading this probably on your computer, that uses Taiwanese chips, and a Korean monitor, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by Indian lorry-drivers, hijacked by Indonesians, unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen and trucked to you by Mexican illegals.....
THAT'S MY FRIENDS IS GLOBALIZATION....
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Eth counts in its own way,
KOYIN